Right Relationships = Smooth Transitions

Right Relationships = Smooth Transitions: transitioning students from children’s ministry to youth ministry

by Melissa Fipps

Do a search on ‘transition from children’s ministry to youth ministry’ and you’ll get a slew of results. Digging through them can be time consuming and overwhelming. Some sites are targeted at children’s pastors, while others are written for youth pastors. Some give vague generalizations while others give specific suggestions. After comparing several sites (for both children’s and youth pastors) and speaking with two children’s pastors and one middle school pastor (and considering my own previous experience and observations as a volunteer in children’s and youth ministry and in my own kids as they transitioned), I noticed some common threads. Interestingly enough, the common things boil down to relationships: with ‘the other’ pastor/director, with parents, with incoming students, with God, and with others in your congregation. (But isn’t that what ministry always boils down to?)

1. Relationship with ‘the other’ pastor/director
• Champion one another regularly, especially in front of others – Go into the other’s space during their ministry time. If you get stage time in their space (or the main church service) then tell the crowd how great the other pastor/leader is
• Try being friends. – You might think this is a given, or you might think this is crazy talk. But I really think you should at least enjoy one another’s company enough to chat over a cup of coffee or pop about things other than ministry. You might be surprised at the results.
• c. Pray for the other person. – Yet another given for some, but a point that needs emphasized, nonetheless. Pray on a personal level (if you have regular chats, then you should know their heart and some personal prayer concerns) AND pray for their ministry.
• d. Work together (with all ministry partners) to come up with a plan of what a model adult who has grown up in your church might look like. Then work backwards to determine what that person looks like at the end of each stage of life
2. Relationship with parents
• Communicate with parents. - Have a meeting to explain how your ministry looks different than children’s ministry. (It’s not that the children’s ministry did things wrong, middle school is just a different stage of life that requires a different style of execution.)
• Make continuing communication a priority. – Let’s face it, junior high students typically cannot get themselves to events. Make sure parents know what’s happening.
• Make information easy to find. – Assume that any paper you give the students will not make it to the parents’ hands. Even if it does, the parents will probably misplace/lose it.
3. Relationship with incoming students
• Establish the relationship early. – Don’t wait until 2 weeks before promotion weekend to introduce yourself. Be involved with the students who will be entering your ministry for six to twelve months beforehand (via special events like bowling, an overnight event, Bible study / small group, etc.).
• Encourage those serving in ministry to pick a group and stay with them all the way through children’s ministry and youth ministry. – I’ve seen this (and done it to some extent), and it works. Of course, it is really sad when the students go to college. (This works even better if it is not a parent of someone in the group. Older students will enjoy being able to confide in these adults and will appreciate an outsider’s advice.)
4. Relationship with God
• Yeah, I had to say it (but I didn’t put it first because I figured you’d stop reading). Putting Him first is key in this. You are not trying to get numbers. You are not trying to have the biggest group in town. You are not trying to outdo the church down the street. You SHOULD BE drawing souls to Christ and helping them deepen their relationship with God.
5. Relationship with others in the church – this may sound like a strange one to include, but it is needed. 
• The middle school pastor (who has a degree in education) suggested visiting a sixth grade school classroom (with a veteran teacher). Listening to what the students are learning, seeing them interact with their peers, and overall observation will help you understand what a student that age needs.
• Talk to parents and teachers of sixth or seventh graders. They will feel honored that you respect their thoughts and will give you a ton of helpful information.
• Talk with some older adults in your church. They’ve been around the block. They usually like other people’s kids. They may not want to be a small group or worship leader, but they’ll help teach a six week Bible study, make meals for an overnighter/retreat, serve snacks at your outreach events, or pray for teens on a weekly basis (and send them occasional cards informing them of the prayer). They are often retired and are happy to sort t-shirts, organize totes, stuff envelopes (especially if you offer to provide coffee and snacks) etc.

 So, the bottom line is that you value relationships. Without those, your ministry doesn’t exist.

  Oh, and by the way, these items can be applied to any transition between ministries or life stages.
 
Resources:
http://childrensministry.com/articles/smooth-transitions?p=1
http://youthministryinstitute.org/research/articles/Marsha_Hays.htm
http://www.reyouthpastor.com/student-ministry-skills/leadership/tactics-and-strategy/8-ridiculous-youth-groups-growing/
Max Johnson (middle school pastor, Crossroads Community Church, Kokomo, IN)
Michael Fuqua (elementary children's pastor, Crossroads Community Church, Kokomo, IN)
Amanda Bugos (elementary children's minister, Converse Church of Christ, Converse, IN)